The maid is unwell.
The baby is teething, ripping your skin as he latches on to your breast to get his feed.
The mother in law called and told you again how your toddler looks pretty drawn and you are not feeding her nutritious dinner. Good bones are very important you know!
Your husband didn’t kiss you this morning, was too distracted, buried on the phone, then the iPad & then with the baby, while you dressed up the toddler for school. He is still sulking over the argument you had the last night. You want a hug. Your ego comes in the way.
You reach the school to drop your toddler balancing your baby, school bag, stroller and constantly directing the cheeky monkey who is running in wayward fashion towards the school. You meet the teacher. The teacher narrates to you how your toddler pushed the other kid, refused to apologize oh and had a pee- pee accident yesterday. You say sorry. You feel guilty like it’s all your fault. You are definitely not giving enough time to the elder one and that makes you a bad mother.
You take the car out to go run some chores. The baby is strapped successfully into the car seat. Your favorite song comes on the radio, baby begins to cry. Loud, louder, very loud. You look back, you drive, you pray, you sing loudly to over power the crying voice. Baby continues to cry.
You reach the destination, baby smiles and come out of the car seat with a giggle, like nothing happened. You stand in the queue to talk to the customer service officer, your token no. flashes, you smell that forbidden smell, your baby pooped. That big fat, ugly, leaky poop. You rush to the door, asking for the way to the restroom.
Your mother calls, she tell you that your dad is unwell, her BP is running high & they miss you. You want to talk more but the baby is sleepy. Time to rock n roll him to sleep.
Night is still 6 hours away. But you are exhausted. Your mind wants to run away, your heart feels heavy. Your baby smiles as your eyes meet, you see his dimple, lying next to the curve of your breast as he enjoys his meal. His eyes get heavy with sleep. You are sad but you feel love gushing out of your skin. You remember the toddler will be home soon from the school. You think about that silly joke your husband cracked, when you were watching Netflix last weekend, you smile.
Chin up Princess. You have got this. You are stronger than you know, your love is deeper than the misunderstanding that you face with your husband from time to time, your life is not perfect, but it’s beautiful.
Better days ahead. Hugs.