Who doesn’t want to be happy? Who in her right mind wouldn’t like to be healthy? We are all multitasking, on the move parents here. We juggle kid’s well being, work, household chores, finances and relationships among many other things that hit us on a daily basis. We love our inner circle.
We give a lot of importance to their well-being and happiness. How much do we love ourselves? Why do we feel guilty to take time out for ourselves? Why the hell do we pressurize ourselves to be the “SuperMom” we don’t have to be.
I am not talking about taking dozens of selfie kind of love. I am talking about loving the real you, who looks beautiful even with the messy hair and nursing bra. Who is your background voice in the moments before you fall asleep, who asks you to watch what you eat just before that extra serving of lasagna. That you. Your inner self. The you that lies within you. How much time do you spend making her happy?
When was the last time you gave yourself a compliment? When was the last time you pampered yourself and why do you think you are not deserving of love, pampering and your own inward focus?
I am a mother of a toddler and I have a thousand reasons to be busy. I have a thousand and one excuses to come between me and my time. But after months of being lost in the density of motherhood, my own self shook me up.
My smile was not as radiant and I was forgetting what I used to be before I became a mother, but I lost “me”in the chaos. I realized, that since I am not being happy, I am trying to put the blame on people around me. Smallest act of others would hurt me. Smallest of issues would perturb me. I was losing my sanity but most importantly my worth in my own eyes. I was trying to project my unhappiness on the actions of others around me. It was partially true at times, but mostly my lack of happiness was my choice.
Anyone can make you unhappy if you allow them to do it. And when you are unhappy deep down, every happy mommy face on the instagram irks you, every fun anecdote on your single friends on holiday makes you loathe in self-pity. You become the center of negative thoughts and constant fatigue.
“What if I told you that your happiness is your business. All you have to do it is take charge of yourself and your emotions.??”
So, after 20 months of exclusively looking after my baby, keeping all my social interactions to the minimum or virtual, not taking even a stroll in the park without my baby, I decided to take time out for myself. My goal was to do something for myself, away from all the drama for at-least 2 days in a week for 2 hours. And then I found ways of doing it. It just happened!!
An awesome teacher appeared, slots that works with my baby’s nap time got opened. My new house-help turned out to be reliable and my guilt disappeared. Then later my baby joined a Nursery so I got even more time to do what made me happy, and I started focusing on my blog. It’s been 9 months now and I am happier, healthier and definitely more in sync with my inner desires. I now get time to go out with my girl friends, I regularly date my husband, and I even get to religiously follow my pilates schedule. I just needed to believe that I deserve “Me Time”, and the wheel moved.
Today, I am still balancing 24 hours , but way more gracefully then before. I am less frustrated, less sick and definitely ,more happy. I feel better. My child is well attended and is getting more independent and my husband has got his wife back.
I nudge you, shake you, push you my friends. Please do take time out for things you love. Be it coffee by the beach, hiking, exercising, dancing, playing instruments, window shopping or writing. Please take time out for yourself. Your kids deserve a happy Mamma.
Love yourself. Allow yourself. You are worth it.