Ever eaten food with someone else feeding you holding the spoon.. No no, not as a kid but in the recent past?
One likes the attention, the love, the effort someone else is taking to feed you with love. You like it for sometime, a few morsels, may be one whole supper but you get the best satisfaction eating out of your own hands..right?
That’s how life is. If you give the strings of your life in someone else’s hand , you may enjoy the dance for a few days, but soon you will miss your walk, your rhythm and your dance. Many time in our lives we knowingly or unknowingly give our strings in the hand of someone else, and then later when they don’t move us on the rhythm of our heart we complain, resist and even suffer. Worse, we blame them for miss-using us!
Loving someone or being with someone cannot be confused with owning that person. You can be yourself, you have the right to be yourself and you can still belong (and not own or be owned) to someone. Respect your parents but do not give them the right to take decisions for you, love your companion but do not hold them responsible for finding your happiness for you, care for your kids but do not try and make them a walking talking manifestation of your unfulfilled wishes and desires.
Live your life on your own terms. Make your own mistakes, take pride in your achievements, share your joy and sorrows with people but do not credit or blame them for the situation you find themselves in. I know for a fact that the people who have least control on their own life, thoughts and emotions are the one who wants to exert the most control on people and situations around them.This leads to a non-stop dance of controlling and being controlled and misery and expectations and sufferings.
Life is simple, trick is-to keep it simple. Imagine a life where you enjoy being yourself, where you love someone for their uniqueness and accept them with their good and bad. When you do things for your parents because you want to, not because it is expected out of you. Where your know that you have raised great children who are capable of walking, flying themselves and if they fall you are always there to extend support but not sympathy. When your partner feels no urge to hide his limitations from you because he knows, you love him regardless.
I have wallowed in complexity of all kinds for ages. I am no champ in quadratic equations and trigonometry, so I resolve to make one person’s life in this world simpler- Mine. And how do I do it?
I resolve to own it. My life. My rules. One person to improve-Me. You my dear? Can take control of your life.
Live & Let Live.